The Mom Who___

Get a rousing game of Sick Fest going in your home and things start to change fast. A "clean house" becomes more of a cute idea, like all those DIY gifts and home-decor pins on Pinterest. (For those of you who follow me on Facebook, the Cheerio is STILL dangling from the underside of my table. The engineering of a little dog hair and some cobwebs are a wondrous thing.) Quality alone-time with the hubby is replaced with weeping AT the hubby while squirting Ibuprofen down his loin spawn's germy throat. Writing your blog? Hard to do when your atrophied brain has forgotten how to spell, thanks to hours enslaved to "Caillou". (That kid's voice...shudder...) Obviously these things are only temporary and the product of a chaotic season at home. But every once in a while, chaos actually has a way of bringing about a little clarity.

On a normal week, I get out of the house for several play-dates, I serve in a moms group and in my Sunday School class, and usually have other to-dos that fill up my calendar pretty quickly. I make sure that the kids are involved in different lessons and activities. There is no shortage of reasons that Mama Q is hauling her crew from one place to another. Our trusty little SUV gets its share of work! When the kids began their hacking/snot spell last month, we were held captive at home day...after day...after day...after day. I was definitely suffering from cabin fever. My, uncommonly, miserable children had so screwed with my head that I saw a kid-free trip to the pharmacy as on par with a stay at one of Mexico's all-inclusive hotels. My brain was mush from round-the-clock care-taking and very little interaction with other adults. What struck me, though, in the whirlwind of illness was that I did not miss the heavily scheduled days. Knowing that I was responsible solely for providing comfort to my ailing little ones felt oddly refreshing in a seemingly exhausting situation. Cutting out all the fluff left those sick days feeling far more simple than those I'd originally deemed "normal" days.

It took Sick Fest to knock a little sense into my thick skull. It dawned on me that I was desperately trying to be "The Mom Who ___". My title changed from time to time, but I preferred "The Mom Who Served". Some days I was also "The Mom Who Was Super-Organized" or "The Mom Who Had A Full Social Calendar". Heck, being "The Mom Who Blogs" was in the rotation. I liked being "The Mom Who ___" because it made me so much more than just a mom. Tacking on those little self-proclaiming titles put notches in my belt and helped show off my worth to society. I was so quick to have everyone know I was doing MORE than raising my children. Yes, I can lead that group at church. Sure I can volunteer with that association. Don't worry, I'll be there. Yep, it's on my calendar! I won't miss...the kids can just sleep in the car on the way there.

I am such a moron. I am busy and I am needed by those same little faces that peered up at me the day they were born. Those chubby-cheeked faces gave me the best identity I've ever had- Mom. When I put my son to bed at night and we sing "thank you, Jesus" for flowers...and our dog...and trains...and elephants, I am Mom. When my daughter wakes me in the morning with her happy chatter and two-teeth grin, my heart swells with gratitude. I get to be Mom. Hugs around the neck, baby arms that reach for me, belly laughs. I don't deserve to be Mom. In the valleys and on the mountain tops, my job is far too beautiful to attach needy accolades.  I hope the lesson I've learned in this Season of Sick remain ingrained in me. Never again will I cheapen my title as "Mom".