Winter Is Coming
"Winter is coming." The line from HBO's hit show, "Game of Thrones", has become a familiar media catch-phrase over the last couple of years. Scenes of swarthy, armored men battling fantasy creatures in icy lands are a dime a dozen on the show. Super-cute, guys. Love your big scary swords. Let me know how tough you are when your toddler gets sick and you're swimming in snot and mucus. That, lads, is the real winter. When the cold weather descends, homes across America are transformed into true war-zones. Exhausted, sweatpants-clad moms fight off the germs of whiny, weepy carrier-monkeys. Moms are all too familiar with "Winter is coming" and it's ugly, folks.
A few signs that winter is, in fact, here...
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Mom- A shut-in short on sleep and long in need of adult conversation.
Toddler- Snotty, hot mess.
Infant- Smaller version of snotty, hot mess.
Husband- Helpful, if not a little wide-eyed. He's seen things. These are the days when scooting off to work doesn't sound so bad.
COSTUME:
At dinner-time, the mom is still rocking the pajamas and bed-head that she woke up with (if there was any measureable sleep to wake up from). Bonus points if she gets an actual look of alarm from the husband as he gets home from work. Mom would have loved the luxury of donning a bra, but was too busy serving as a human pinball. She bounces between ailing children so many times that dreams of straightened hair and fitted jeans are but a distant memory.
SOUNDTRACK:
Forget any soothing instrumental music. The sounds of a sick house alternate between wailing, shrieking, and the constant hum of the trusty coffee-maker. No rest for the weary, Keurig. Eardrums will be routinely blown out by, "I NEED A TISSUE!!", screeched in the most maddening decibel. Let's not forget that Barney fellow. He runs on loop on the living room TV and will surely send the caretaker to an early grave.
SCENE:
What used to be a home is now a wasteland of used tissues, Clorox wipes, coffee mugs, and blankets. Toys lay forgotten as the children have found that screaming at the mom in shifts is more enjoyable.
PLOT:
Survival.
A few signs that winter is, in fact, here...
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Mom- A shut-in short on sleep and long in need of adult conversation.
Toddler- Snotty, hot mess.
Infant- Smaller version of snotty, hot mess.
Husband- Helpful, if not a little wide-eyed. He's seen things. These are the days when scooting off to work doesn't sound so bad.
COSTUME:
At dinner-time, the mom is still rocking the pajamas and bed-head that she woke up with (if there was any measureable sleep to wake up from). Bonus points if she gets an actual look of alarm from the husband as he gets home from work. Mom would have loved the luxury of donning a bra, but was too busy serving as a human pinball. She bounces between ailing children so many times that dreams of straightened hair and fitted jeans are but a distant memory.
SOUNDTRACK:
Forget any soothing instrumental music. The sounds of a sick house alternate between wailing, shrieking, and the constant hum of the trusty coffee-maker. No rest for the weary, Keurig. Eardrums will be routinely blown out by, "I NEED A TISSUE!!", screeched in the most maddening decibel. Let's not forget that Barney fellow. He runs on loop on the living room TV and will surely send the caretaker to an early grave.
SCENE:
What used to be a home is now a wasteland of used tissues, Clorox wipes, coffee mugs, and blankets. Toys lay forgotten as the children have found that screaming at the mom in shifts is more enjoyable.
PLOT:
Survival.
Ugh. What is it about the toddler years that really attract the germs? It's like 2 years of sicknesses back to back! Hang in there! We all know that under the mess, there's a pretty and put together mom who wears a bra and brushes her hair.
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